It is a bad day at the beach. A proctologist has lost his
Rolex watch and is upset when all David offers to go in and investigate
without undressing the man. Mr. Tanaka is in the water, trying
to learn how to swim properly. Being the rich and old man that
he is, he is impatient with his Viagra and is completely unaware
of the dangers of getting too wrinkled in the water. Spamela
is keeping an eye on him. Suddenly, a loose catamaran starts
careening towards him. And thus another premiere episode of Baywatch
Porkshire is underway. The beach is crowded most everyday along
the Bay of Pigs during filming of this run-a-way production.
Porkshire is happy to have Baywatch Porkshire now part of the
Hollywood connection in our pen.
Porkies are not ignorant!
Margaret Lawswine frets over the disgraceful conduct of a young boar begging in St Shank's Square (Letters, September 20). Apparently, this cadging rooter shouted at Mrs Lawswine and her companions, calling them "pig-ignorant". However, Margaret may rest content in the knowledge that the ignorance of the porkie is a myth, perpetrated by people whose personal conduct is consistently below the required standard. The yob in question is a member of the ever growing army of self-pitying benefit swines whose vocabulary is limited to the clear enunciation of only two words: 'benefit cheque'.
If these pig-beggars are without physical or mental